December 24, 2025

 28 years old 

I tried modeling by accident 
Thought it would be good 
But it was more food for 
Thought
As the poses good more racy 
The consequences of those poses 
We’re too
Where did 
                  Your brain
                                     Go to?

The longest day of the year is not the summer solstice but intend Christmas Eve!  It is so boring for the simple fact that nothing is going!   How I wish I could break up the day so I can actually enjoy the day. It’s nice and sunny outside, but it’s kind of interesting. That is cold the interesting concept being winter.   I would not wish a green and warm Christmas on my worst enemy as I am too kind for that!   Let’s say that after a while my parents would take on fucking vacation during Christmas only to fuck with my head!  Now that is depressing as I would spend time obsessing over over being at home!   I would not wish this on my worst enemy as ever has a right to a white Christmas!  I must say that I hated going on fucking vacation in the holiday season!   I would end up having behaviours that would end up being the worst of the worst I will not say which ones they were, but I just cannot stand travelling during the holiday season I work as I said, would not wish this on my worst enemy!  I hated these vacations!  And note my worst enemy is the garden gnomes, aka terrorists!  And if I don’t wish a green one on them that says too much about my personality!   I would go into much detail as how the gnomes ruined my life, as well other people’s life but I will not spur this day anymore that it already is!  This is pretty boring day there is!  I am going to say that I am glad for the day that vacations or long gone and I don’t have to worry about anything  that is grassy green!    I must say that it is a form of sensory deprivation to have a green Christmas!  So I am happy that yesterday was the first snow storm!  How do I know that it was a bad  (good) snow storm is that I was going to see the Christmas lights  at the park!  It was very interesting and entertaining some of the lights were animated but the getti g there was hairy as I was afraid that I was going to end up in a crash!  So I must have prayer multiple times during the the drive to the park!    And when we go there I was able to relax!  It was very beautiful!  Then when I was going back! I can not drive as I am “too angry!” I have someone from my home to dive my house mates and I to these things!  But on the way back I was busying my self with drawing harts that look like chickpeas on the window of the van!  Yes the drive back was boring!

These were the hurts that I drew the hearts that I drew were looking like chickpeas. I’m not good at drawing hearts, even at the best of times it’s kinda looking like that lagoon bean. If you know what I mean, the idea that I was drawing these hearts was because I was bored stiff and wanted to do some Aesthetic photography while just to pass the time so you can see that they turned out great!  But I don’t like being able to sit around and do fuck all!  So I did that!  Because  have adhd, a pain ass syndrome that makes me want to everything and any thing at the same time!  I can not go shopping with out a book in my hand as I get that bored real quick or I would get my self lost in said store!   No joke!  It does not help that I am blinder than lady justice with out my effing glasses!    So that being said I have to be around  some or know the store like the back of my hand before going in alone !   It sounds stupid but it is unfortunately what happened to me!   One time I got lost and lost my temper because I was not wearing my mglasses, so you can see where this was going to go…..bad!

What happened was that I was looking at the new T.J. Newman book - worst case scenario when I got lost and then lost my temper, but was worth it and not at the same time. As I was happy to hold the book, but not happy that my human walked off!  I could not finder!  You can say  I got lost in the book which was not how I wanted to get lost in the book in the first place, I wanted to buy the book and then to read it then get lost in the book not look at the book and get lost in the store. You can imagine why this was leading!  That much  I can say with out embarrassing my self!

The idea of being lost in those fucking big box stores was horrible!  

That is why I bring a book everywhere I go no matter what or I have to do something at that exact time at that exact second or else I’m gonna lose my squirrel or even lose myself in a big box store is that bad my ADHD is, but it’s not as bad as my side as I said as without my glasses, I can be as blind as justice lady justice that is it’s not fun to be a blind person without your glasses. I know some people gonna wear their glasses or not wear their glasses at the same time but I tried that shit it didn’t work.   But even today I wish I could go to a store…. I do looove shopping but I do most of my shit on Amazon or on line because of the need to bring something to keep me occupied thing!  It is rather annoying!    

As I write this The sun is shining in my eyes is blinding, but it is actually refreshing to see as yesterday. It was kind of overcast. It was interesting to see the sun today, but I wish I could go out in the snow, but as I said, I get a little lazy so sometimes! And I don’t always get to the snow in time!   Shovelling that is!

For the most part on my hard worker when it comes to my jobs, I do a lot of jobs and I do them well and I do a bang up job, but anyways, sometimes when it comes to the snow sometimes I just don’t wanna feel that windchill of minus whatever and freeze my nuts out of my abdomen Particularly my ovaries in this case of the word nuts!  Love hate winter!  It is pretty but it as also aggravating too, to shovel!  I hate the snow but it sparkles so well!  For most of the day I was watching little mosque on ghr prarie ….. very cute show! I like this show more than cobra Kai!  Well cobra Kai is to angry for me!