Saturday, December 28, 2024

December 28, 2024 p.m.

When I was told that I was not going to be an author but instead ma doctor I was  devastated as I lived to write!   As I was getting ready to go to the medical school I thought I would stick out like sore thumb.  And boy was I right.....being with a bunch of stuck up rich kids was not what I wanted to do in the first place.  This was not on my 2024 bucket list nor was it to see the strangest girl in the morgue!   But as I was going to the cafeteria at the teaching hospital I had to go by the morgue, I had little to know friends at this point and I did not want to be there!    One day as I was taking this short cut to the cafeteria  I remember a meek "hello Lilly!" She said.  

Something about the way she said it seemed like she was in the same situation as me....barely wanting to be here either! 


"Hello rannie," I said.  She would have looked hot if she was not a big nerd and gothic like! "How are you!"


"I am......." She said. "Good! What about you?"


"Good thank you," I said. 


"Ummmmm......" she said.  "Do you mind, hanging out with me!"   


"Why!" I asked


"Because  one: you are brilliant and a wonderful looking person," she said.  "The next:   Your parents were brilliant surgeons!  I'd like to pick your brain!"


"Ummmmm..... ok!" I said.  


"So.....you're a med student too," Rannie said.   "I am too, but I am working in pathology!"


"What you mean forensic pathology," I asked!


"Yes," she said.


I spend. The whole lunch hour with her we talked about different things from serial killers to the newest forensic technology!  As I said one thing after another she was hanging at my words!   She was smiling slyly at me as if she had found the first friend in her life!    I was looking at her, she looked like a nice girl who was a total loner.  I must say that I did not like the idea of being a "loner" too!   I asked she wanted to be a friend as if we were kids in a playground.... But what I did not expect was the fact that she invite me to her house to live with her!


"I am also looking for a roommate too!" She said.  "If you don't mind living behind the hospital with me!"


"Of course I don't mind," I said.  "Better then the stuck up roommate I have In the dorm!  She is assigning!"


"Neuro normative!" Rannie asked!


"Yes, and annoying!"  I answered!   


"Bring your stuff when you come tonight!"  Rannie said.  


"Sure!" I replied!  The thought of her being my bestie and my roommate!


When I looked at my phone I saw that I was devastatingly late for class so I asked her if I can get my stuff now!  She confirmed and smiled!   She wanted to be friends desperately.  I could not imagine what type of life she lived as a child.   Nor did I want to!   She seemed shy but full of life and dark jokes!



"Would you like to go stargazing tonight with me when you move in," she asked.


"I never did that since I was with my father," I said.  "He gone now."


"Mine was in jail most of my life......" she said.   " my mom was abusive to me!"  


"Wow!"  I said.  "This is the hight of my parents 'abuse'!"


She must have been a year younger than me and she looked it too!  What I did not know was that I just made my self stick out like a sore thumb even  more!  But I was starting to like her as a friend already.   And one thing you will know is that I am loyal to people who are good people!  That being said I was loyal to her from this moment on!

When I went to get to my dorm to go get my stuff the jeering started!  It was my roommate who was saying that she was lesbian and a serial killer worshipper! And dumb shit like that.   Renee obviously never meet a goth person in her life it sickened me!    Then as I was living she said, "does  rannie smell like death!"  

I was getting angry and then I left with out even looking back as I did not want to deal with her nee and her toxicity again!  When I got to rannie's place she was waiting for me and started to run to me as I was coming to the front door!  


"Hey!" She said.  


"Hey," I said.  She hugged me and started to cry at the thought of having a real friend in her life!  Before it got dark she showed me hear place and that she had every book on every serial killer in North America.  It was interesting!  Then beside them was books in genetics and astronomy!  She was saying that she did not mind me reading this or that book!


I was getting bombarded with everything!    But it was Better then Renee and her bad attitude!   That art student was a pain in my ass to be honest!   

Then it got dark!  



"You ready to go stargazing!"   She said.


"Yes!" I said.


When we got to the field she showed me the lessor known constellations like the swan and  stuff!  We must have look up there and we're talking for hours!   We talked about different things in our life that were both good, bad and the ugly!   When we looked up and talked the more we noticed that we were from the same planet.....planet misfit!    That was when her hand brushed against mine!

I didn't notice but she apologized and was sweet but awkward about it!   


"So do you have a boyfriend!"  She asked.



"No!" I said.  " I am not into dating!"



"Me either!"   Another thing in common we had with eachother!  That was when our eyes locked together and we looked into each others souls!   It was interesting  to feel this way but then she interrupted saying! "Would like to see my favourite show!"




"What is it!" I asked.



"Dr. G: medical examiner!"



"Oh I seen it a couple of times!"  I said. 



"Really!!!" 



"Yes!"  


That was when our eyes got lost in each other's!  That was when I wanted to be with her and see what she was specializing in!  That was just at ten o'clock at night!  We went back to the house and started watching the show that she was raving about.   

That was when she mentioned the y-incision and traced it on my body, a surge of emotion and excitement came form her touch!   Then she apologized again!  


"No! No!" I said.  "You did nothing wrong!"



"Ok!"   She said.  


She obviously had low self esteem and was a sad young woman!  Then she looked at me slyly again and then she attempted to to flirt with me!    It was endearing but a little creepy.


"If I could I would love to examine you!"   She said.  "Such a fine speciemen!"   

I did l know what I was going to say about the loving tone in her voice!  She certainly had feeling for me.  I asked if I could sleep on the couch!  



"Only if I can" she asked.  


"Yes," I said,    


"Good I love to cuddle!"  Rannie said.  


When I was going to fall asleep she cuddled into me and started to hold my hand.   It was nice but awkward.....as I was hoping to be a girl friend to a guy soon.  I came form a strict family as I child and never experimented with my sexuality before!     That was when I heard her say thing about her mother....that her mother called her medical waste!   What kind of woman would do that!

I held her head next to my heart and let her cry in to my chest!   Soon I was running my fingers through her semi short hair.  As I said .....I could not imagine what she went through as a kid!  Nor do I want to.   But I wanted to know her and what she lived through.  To behonest I was unconsciously falling in love with her!  It was strange but it was wonderful that I would feel empathy for her.  I had to hold the urge to kiss her.  It was something that I felt like doing but I was afraid of  scaring her off!  The next day I went to the office of the dean of medicine and started to asked to be in forensics instead of surgery!    It was going to be easier on me as well on my heart!  That next night I got what I wanted in the first place to be with my new friend.   When I told her, she was excited to have me in her life!   That being said I would not have to lie to anyone about passing by the morgue!


That was the time when we almost kissed.



I am obviously starting a novel that I hope will be a decent preforming book this was the damn play that I was going to do but it because to erotic  for me   To turn it into a play that being said I was proud of my first chapter that I have to share with my memoirs.    As you probably know front the past post that I was into forensics heavily as a teenager!  To the point were it was pissing my parents off and I soon got into trouble from time to time!  That being, I was going through a major take time in life at that time that being said I think this had I got influence on my life as I was about to grow from it and create from it!  This is what that story is about


When Lilly goes to university for medical school it was not what she expected in her life!  For she was forced to be in it when she wanted to be a writer!  When she meets a peculiar girl with glasses she falls in love with the pathology student!  What she does not expect will be a surprise romance that. She would experience with the social reject!


When rannie, see Lilly she thinks she is beautiful and perfect, the perfect recipe for a bully but  what she does not expect will be that Lilly was in love with her!   She usually hangs out in the morgue with very few people!   



The question will they be in love or will Lilly leave!?


This what the book will be /or is about  that being said …..should I enter it in to the Wattpad wattys yet again?!  I think so as I am not giving up on the wattys as fair as I am concerned.   The same damn thing with my boyfriend, I am not going to give up on him because whatever is going in my mind!  I am not going to give up on the wattys as fair because I had a disappointing experience!  I will continue until I either go of old age or if I win!  Whichever will come first!  That being said , this what I am both mentally and genetically = stubborn!  Weather it is ocd or stubbornness it is what it is, persistence and annoying of other until I get what I want out of life!   I am still a writer dispite the disappointment I suffered from! That being…… and I about to  make it everyone’s problem! lol :)




No I have to get ready to talk a shower and eat supper!  So sea you!  Just wanted to tell you want I was up to this afternoon since I could not go to recycling centre.   

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