So I got the garbage done, I wish I was talking about the band Garbage but I am talking about crap! And holy crap I was freeze my wind pipe to the point that as I write this its a pain in the ass to breath! I did not f3el cold but it felt like I had COVID, if I did not know any better! It was worse than that! It was fucking painful to fucking breathe! Until I got to my iPad to write this entry about the actual evening! Other than then that I was reading some good books one was Frankenstein and th either pook’s hill! The second one, puck of pook’s hill was extraordinarily as I never read what seemed like a dream! And a pleasant one at that! It was before I was out doing the garbage run! I wish to talk about how effing cold it was out side! I never had this happen to me where I was coughing and in pain every time I breathed 8t sucked it was not pleasant even for Canada! And I am genetically use to worse shit than this but still it froze my pipes in my goddamn throat! I will not being throat singing this winter it is obviously a summer activity! But I what pisses me off was the coughing fit I had I near busted my ribs again! Talk to about shitty!
I would not blame the pipes for breaking or freezing as my windpipe was suffering and continues to suffer! I had this kind of cold! The cold and I never really got along! It is more of a hate hate relationship! In this cause I despise this deep cold which we are in now! I don’t know what to call this, also year was El Niño but what do you call a fucking cold winter were you can’t even sleep at fucking night! Hmmmmmmm!la nina or what I don’t know! This was a first for me! I was not shivering but I was in a lot of pain from breathing as if I had the strep throat……I know because I had it twice as a kid……it sucked! But this was the worst coughing fit! I shall not being sing at all tonight! That being I am from of sounding like a drowned cat with Covid! That being said why does what ever created this universe so sadistic to cause winter!? I would like to know personally! As I am finally warming up it is scary how cold this thing created such temperatures! Call it what you want in your religion but I a just call it the creator! That being said! I was never one for organized religion…..that being said my parents tried to get me into catholic Christianity that obviously did not work in anyone’s favour! It was torture mental torture for me as I wanted to just follow the beat of my self. This being said after a while I lost friends and acquaintances but at the time it was painful to be bullied for what I believed in nature! T that being said I believe that if you can’t see it it will cause conflict and it has for many people! I was more into ghosts and spirits and healing than shit disturbing the world’s shit! I think that nature based beliefs: shamanism, pagan and Wiccan are under rated, for the are actually peaceful and healing! But idiots say because there is nothing but nature that they call it evil and shit! It isn’t the case…..I a don’t believe the devil created the Big Dipper, something good but sadistic did! That is why I don’t believe in the devil, it is not flattering to thing of something that was man created like the lord of the rings……no that was a hell of a book series and a hell of a movie selection!
The annoying thing about the lord of the rings movie was that one of my former friends at a stalker like obsession of one of the actors! That was when I was straying from “normal” to how I saw the world today! Let’s say that I did not care for parties, fitting in or even sex, during and otherwise dangerous things that young people still engage in! That being…. I was playing it safe and playing clean I did not have any friends out side of the neighborhood that I lived in! I remember two kids: nils and Ana hamster! I remember them fondly! As we were interested in similar things this being, the nerdy and goth stuff! They were good to me and they were also the misfits of their respected schools! Hence the inspiration for the graphic novel that I am also working on with my friend….ad fellow band member, let’s cold her white fang!- her stage name! Some of the things that I was thing for the graphic novel was based on some of my background! And some of hers! Also I am starting my screen play…. In the boom that my boyfriend gave me!
Like I said I wanted to give the screen writing a chance that being was it in that. I as for my boy friend he talks about marriage …… I don’t think I am qualified to be married to another human being. I have to tell him! But I can not marry as it is frightening to me. Most people my age love getting married but we are to different. But I still love him! But at the same time I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t lie either!
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