Must say that I am sorry about not writing this afternoon as I was dealing with my Amazon order that was delivered to me! Ten nose rings 16G and I used three of them in my spetum! Yes I do septum staking until I am at 6 rings! That being said I only did 3 because I did not want to push my luck ……slowly wins the race and as my high school drama teacher would say if someone was swearing or what not…..”KEEP IT CLEAN!!!” That being I use those three words with piercings and tattoos! Anything that the skin is supposed hurt! I keep it clean! That being said I remember high school with a idealic memories as if I remember it was a few minutes ago! I was quickly introduced to tattoos and piercings but at the time in said drama class! As I remember some of my friends were alternative and goth! The gauged ears that caught my attention and the body art! Then my father opening his big yapper and told me that I was south Asian (including Tibetan) and Central Asian too! That being said I watched the movie Alexander with my offending drama class at grade 10 a week after the revelation of my ancestry! That being said I was the first person to see there true ancestors the Tibetans, sogdian, and bactrians and the Scythians that spark my body art journey!
As I was thing of the trouble that my friends and I caused on the way home form the Ottawa movie theatre I was having a blast as I was also it just enjoying the site of my ancestors and the pranks we pulled on the way home. It was the best day of my life! Then my father camp to pick me up that was when I told him about all the good shit in my day! He referred to the best day of my life as the day that him and my mother got me out of that horrid war zone….. like I did not need to bothered about the m.i.l.f.s in my life =memories I’d like to forget! Though my father one complained that I would never have memories if my friends he was just in a near psychotic rage that day! I remember my friends from high school as clear as the f-word and I remember them fondly! That being said I did not think about my idealic memory in this case! I was going to Norte dame catholic high school in a little town west of Ottawa since 2003 to 2008 I graduated with not just gauged ears but I sense that man kind was not all evil…..some humans were actually good to me; something I would remember as soon as I moved out of my family home! Since I moved out I got my septum pierced and 8 tattoos, and a partridge in a pear tree. I was also interested in other things just not the negative shit that pissed me off as a child! Though high school was a distant but not forgotten memory I also found love for the written word in my case I was 17 and was going through a severe and raunchy depressive state for reasons unknot but I wrote poetry. I found this again to be better then the psychiatrist who gives you piles that you have to take and god damn if the dissolved in your mouth! (Barf emoji)
This is the poem I wrote in high school…. I still remember this as if it was just written
I was going to the high computer literacy class
A class that I despise
A class that I dread
I go and sit but .....
It was the last time I sit for all of eternity
As I sit out taking a breath
I don't feel my heart beat
I was sitting lifeless in my chair
Some of the students noticed that I was not doing
Anything
The teacher was calling 911 as he noticed that I was not breathing as I just sit there limp
It feels like I was locked in my dead body, my soul that was!
I cannot enter the spirit world and as I try to enter. The realm
I am just at the borderlands
I wish I could move but I could not
Soon they realized what I already know
That I was dead and in limbo! As they realized this they call
The medical examiner instead
Because I ain't breathing
Then I was taking to the morgue
As the drive I scream
"It's the fucking classes that caused my death
The fucking stress and boredom
The fact that I was deciding to break free!"
But what the does the driver say nothing as I try to be heard!
I am processed and borough in for autopsy
The medical examiner said this ....
"Who do we have here today!"
She looks at my papers and said my full name
Elena Melanson
Before she could get the scalpel I tell physically make sounds
Telling her he exact cause of death
"It was that fucking computer lit class
That killed me, it borded and
Stressed me to death!"
She finds this remarkable that I would be able to talk with
My own voice
Then for the last time my soul hits the boarder lands
And goes right to the spirit world
And that was when my body went limp for the last time
Had I found peace?
I am from dearh's cold grip and I find that I am
In a perpetual summer with
Wild followers all over the place
It seems peaceful and I go to the light
I am at peace!"
That was the poem I hid from my parents and got me to write in the first place! Remember when I gauged my ears royally, and then as I was leaving my friends house I see a book of Islamic poetry! Well that influenced to some extent to see the beauty in the world! No matter how dark that day was! That being said it was 7 days until my seventeenth birthday I would write more poetry some I Remember and som that I don’t! I even remember the dreams (and nightmares) I had as a teen! My seventeenth birthday was good but it was also a bitch as some memories that I had from Romania started, or I thought started, I was wondering if I had PTSD! Was certain until I saw my second psychiatrist! And no I am not talking about a musical instrument……I mean the human kind!
That being said I found this information that I did not have PTSD very encouraging for me! I was able to be relieved of my burden….the very cross I had to bear most of my life!
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